So she knows that i love her. She knows that i will always be there for her. She did asked me the same question whether we should walk this journey. We both know that the path would not be long ,until a certain journey, we have to let go of each other. That's very hurtful and we have something common which is unable to hurt someone(hurt a close friend). Therefore both of us agree not to have relationship and we maintain our friendship.
Truth enough,she did not avoid from me. She maintained our friendship. When i have troubles i will talk to her, tell her my problems and she listens. Which is why i like her, she can be there for me just to listen to my problems. When she has any problems, i will always ask her to tell me not to swallow it up because its going to be very suffering. I will always be there for her, i cannot afford to see her upset or suffer.
There's one day, something happened to her which make her cry and upset. I asked her to call me and we have a long talk. I'm glad that she calm downed and able to sleep. When i heard that she cried, it's like a dagger just straight away stab on my heart. As I said, i cannot afford to see her suffer. the next day, i brought her out, make her feel better. I trust her and believe she will be better and stronger. I just broke up with my girl friend and she did not know that she actually helped me a lot too.
by hearing to your voices, by looking at your messages; honestly speaking, i will feel better. A girl which i like since young and love her now. It's like a drama series, we love each other but we cannot be together. However i am glad that you did not forget me. Which is something i am very afraid off, forget my existence, but you did not. for example, my ex girl friend, said to be best friend but to me it's more like a stranger now. Don't promise anything which you cannot do, you will only hurt the person. I been hurt few times from my ex. Friends been telling me to let her go , i did but it seems not totally yet. It's like a bunch of candles in front of you. You took one up and you feel that your world is brighter. however you need to put it back, let it go before the wax or the fire burns your hand. There's my problem, i did not let go my hand and that's why i am hurt.
Nevertheless, right now, i know that there's someone which i able to love and she is the one. Even though we cannot be together, we can still stick together. We share our problems and help each other. I love her, yes i really do but it's clear, i will definitely not crossing that line. Even though we cannot be together i never let go of you. Sometimes, think about it friendship is better than relationship. Some of the things are able to share to your close friends instead of your boy or girl friend. My relationship between her right now is my closest friend, a friend which i able to trust, a girl which i like since young, a girl which i love and never let go and last but not least she is my second heart.
~HPB
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