the day is near

7 days left, i have to fulfill my promise to her. I do not like breaking promises so i will only promise things which i'm able to fulfill. Use too, i will promise anything and do my best to achieve it but after some incident happened, i notice that even though you put all your hard work in it, still there's people will not appreciate it or maybe it's too late for your to fulfill the promise. Not everyone able to wait as it's human nature. Who does not wish to get their things done in a fast way or get the things which they want in a quick way?

I do not like people to wait for me and neither i wait for a person. For me time is very precious, i arrange and plan everything normally before a day or a week before. However, i learn to be more flexible in my time too so i have no problem of sudden event except for big events. However, these days i have been letting people waiting for me, i'll try not to break that rule of mine. I have to arrange my time wisely these days since there's a lot of assignments coming in. i cannot afford to lose myself at this moment. I have been easily stress these days, it's true that my friend said that i bring this problem to myself. Well say, it's truth. I'm not good in handling my own brain.

tomorrow i'm going to perform in front of few judges, i bet they are good. I'm still thinking what should i play. Planning to go to another block of my uni and give a try of every songs. Mood still swinging there and here, i bet none of the songs will be nice but just try to find the suitable one. i hope that no one listen to my play right now, it will only bring those sad memories of theirs. I'm not boasting but it's true because they are able to feel what i'm trying to express through the piano. I do feel bad because they drop their tears because of me. Few friends already experienced that so i wish no one is there listening.

I read her blog this morning, she wrote about herself, who she really is and her characteristic. I told my friend that i like her because she is able to be straight forward. Furthermore, i believe she is more than what she wrote in her blog. I read through her blog before this, i can roughly know her personality. Even if i do not, i do not mind start over to know her. What kind of person is she, i understand because i went through what she had before. Do not changed your personality or characteristic for a person, it's worthless, it only hurts you at the end. I'm able to accept her weakness, like i said, no everyone able to accept mine, even her perhaps? I screwed her yesterday, her face was like so mad but it's my fault because i just screw her straight away. What a gentlemen am i, being so dumb and just release the fire out straight away in her face.

After a while, she calmed down and i wanted to apologize to her but i feel shy so i miss the chance of apologizing to her in a rightful manner. During the practice break, i raise my hand to her because i left my necklace the other day, asked her to keep it for me. Actually, i want her to return to me when she remembers. I do not know why, i raise my hand for, she took the necklace out and wanted to return to me. I refused to take it back because that time i was down due to my memories of my ex. I asked her to keep the necklace for me this period without telling her why and she got mad. I do not mind scold by her but for now, it's better that the necklace keep away from me. I trust her, believe she will take care it for me. When the time is right, i believe she will return to me without me reminding her. Maybe that time, she will understand more what kind of person am i. A different way of letting someone knowing you, it's not obvious or maybe she did not even notice it. However, if she really have interested in me, she would understand at the end.

~HPB