Unexpected

Love, something which is complicated that related to relationship. Normally things will turn bad from good after a girl whom you like knows that you like her or you love her. There are two outcomes will happen, one of it, cold war occurred which means total stranger and another which commonly happened, said taking you as friend but ended up total stranger too. These happened to me and i was thinking that the same thing is going to happen to me again. I was thinking how am i going to survive this time, thinking that how am i going to let you go. However, i'm wrong, you did not ignore me, you really mean those words taking me as a friend of yours.

I red your blog the next day after i gave you my blogger link because i have the feeling that you will post a new post. That night after giving you my link, i was thinking that everything ends. Let things go by its own, let it be in its way. Hope, it's not something which i bear since the last time what happened when i was with my ex. Nevertheless, i was thinking that whether we are able to be friends again even after you know that i like you. It's stupid to think about it because i will never get the answer. Due to the feelings i have for you, all i wish it's even you do not like me, please do not ignore me. Even though, you do not like me, as long you take me as friend, i will be fine.

I do feel pain after reading your blog but not as pain as i thought so because you did something which i never expected, you still take me as friend. You did not ignore me, you still replies my message. You said and you did, not what my ex did to me. That is more than enough to cover the pain so what's left, i need time to pull myself back from crossing the line.

today, i went dinner with my friends and we were taking about relationship. I told them that i really hard to fall for girls and so far there are 5 of them that i fell. the first happened when i was young around 8 years old, consider that as puppy love. The second one, it's my second heart; third, it's one of my sisters, me as a third party; forth, my ex which i put all my trust and loyalty in it but everything just vanish in a blink and last it's you i fall. I did not tell them who is the last one, the fifth. I just tell them that it's secret. However one of them knew my secrets and she asked me whether do i still like the fifth one. If i answered that i'm not, i'm lying. It's impossible for me to say no, i really like you.

it's hard for me to let go but it does not mean that it's impossible, i need time for that. I like her, i really do. After reading her blog, i found one thing which is interesting. It is about one sided love; a guy asked a girl that isn't that suffering to love a person which the person does not love you? The girl actually answer that guy that even though you do not love me, as long i love you, i'm still in love, i'm not heart broken. It's kinda funny but it makes sense. Somehow this actually recalled what i did for my ex but that's passed.

I'm glad that you're still taking me as friend but i will still like you. I will still care for you even though you will feel disturbing. At least, you will remember me being there for you. You can find me whenever you want, i will absolutely be there for you as a friend. I want to be a friend which you can rely on, a friend that able to be there for you when you need someone the most, a friend which you can able to share your stuffs or secrets, a friend which you are able to trust, a friend which you can like or hate, more importantly, you'll can never feel alone, even the whole world against you, you have me beside you.

~HBP