path chosen

I was planning to do my revision for my in coming midterm but ended up here. Maybe going to write down some of the things happened around me recently, i might feel better. I felt stressful these days due to assignments and other stuffs which are secretive. anyway straight to the point, there are things bothering me but its not something which i can handle. Thus, the only thing i can do is wait or look through it the answer myself. However best answer comes from the actual person so its kinda difficult to open your mouth and it comes to worst if you have estimated the answers to those questions. so, what's the point asking questions which you might already know the answer?

few days ago, bunch of my friends went to counseling room for consultation. I heard that its more like a sharing section for everyone inside there. Too bad, i love to share stuffs but most of my stuffs are secret so its kinda hard for me to do so. Instead of going inside that room, another friend of mine wanted to consult me, asking me what does he need to do and others. here comes another relationship problem, i did that in my secondary school even till now my brothers will come and find me for advice. I do not understand but why do you guys come and find me? I cannot give advice because i also have problems in that. No one is specialist in this, all i can do for them is to be their listener. Listen to their problems and question them and guide them, that's all, i do not give them answers because there's no right and wrong in this case.

and back to where i was, after counseling my friend and its kinda late already and my friends who were in the counseling room opened the door, during the sharing section they actually locked the door. few of my friends went off and some of them stayed. anyway i went in and never thought that i ended up counseling them, my friends. I just shared what i experienced before, nothing else, no craps, all base on what i went through in my life. The counselor concluded me by saying me that my age looks 20 but my brain is 40. Its not something like this, maybe because of my curiosity, i look through things, i scan, i analyze, i investigate, i observe, i tried and these is what i get, experiences.

i never thought that i ended up counselling my friends but one thing that i hope is one of the friends in there able to get what i'm exactly trying to tell her. I know her problems so i'm doing my best to advice her through friends. I want her to wake up from her dream and face reality. This world is cruel and only the strong will survive. Those who are weak will remain weak but if the weak takes the chance and give a try,step forward, its a new beginning for him or her to be strong. Strong cannot be measure as long you have the will with you, nothing can stop you. Spoke for that long, hopefully she will get it one day. they look at me like a pro but you do not know how much i paid for my life, what i went through, the counselor know that. I share and counsel because i do not wish to see you guys to go through the same thing i went through.

Time is all i need, I will eventually let you go. I had a great time with you yesterday, hard to believe but it's happening. It was great to see so many great dancers this time and it was lucky that the vise president has changed haha Anyway the conversation in the car between you and me, yup, you got me that i'm actually in a situation. A simple situation which i actually so stupid not to solve it as soon as possible. However yesterday a sentence of yours struck me and made me realize something. So like i said before and i will say it again, i'm single but i'm not available because relationships or feelings i do not want to touch or even care anymore. All i want to do right now is to focus in my studies, if it wants to happen, it will happen eventually. Thus, i will forget about these as long that ring of mine is on my neck. I'm going to live on what i want to be and forget those feelings and stuffs.

HPB