It's been a hard time for me yesterday late night for me to think of everything , every single piece of my 'puzzles'. thinking why do i fall in love with them. I did not take any actions for i know i will take this very seriously, end up if anything happened, i will get all the pain because i cannot afford to see people to suffer. I will swallow all the pain to myself.
this morning, i was still thinking what should i do. It is useless to tell anyone my problem since the problem is with me because i swallow up all the pain. i suffer alone. seeing things negatively is so common for me now. think about it, maybe i am the one that causes this. maybe i am the one created things which would not happen.
i chased 5 girls, one of them i successfully being with her but we broke up somehow with unreasonable excuses. Me, felt pain since i swallow all the pain. what a gentlemen and a naive person to be. This world will kill me definitely. what choice can i make? change my life perhaps? a positive happy person change to a totally different attitude guy? perhaps? maybe this might help me? i dont know.
it is easy to turn bad then good. i tried and now i was thinking maybe this time i will do the same to release the bad side of me. this world is more evil than i thought, in order to follow the trend, i think for now, this is needed. i changed and it would not be nice. Who said that "i know his not like that" , maybe it's time for you to take back your words. because right now, the person you're seeing will be different from before. who really understands me? for me, i will answer only my family or perhaps one more person
things will be different from now on. i would not be all the time good anymore, it is time for me to let you guys see who really i am and it's time for you to make up your mind whether you still want to stick with me. friends? brothers? sisters? i don't know how you guys will look at me. how many of them are real? who knows?
~HPB(Heartless Piano Boy)
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