it has been a while i did not enter my blog for there is nothing for me to write. however somehow today, i have a post popped up in my mind to write on and i hope you will take a look of this post...
honestly, i wanted to know how have you been. recently i have been busy but i never take away my eyes on you, i will always ask my friends how have you been but somehow i lost track of you. These days, i found out that you have some problems with your friends and for your attitude, i know and i really mean it, i really understand you that you will hide your truth face and just try not to screw up anything. you swallowed up the heat and just entertained them. However, everyone has their limit so yup. no point changing for a person, you is you and that's it. if they cant accept it then it's their problem.
telling the truth behind of this post, actually it's already 30 days i did not get to see you. isn't short or isn't long? but what i can tell is i really regret what i did back there that day. apologize is useless, "sorry" is meaningless anymore these days, it's a common word which people use even a simple task is done wrong. apologize is no longer credible. once trust is broken, it wouldn't be the same for the next time or worst it's already gone...
and again i want to ask how have you been? honestly and yes, i'm worried and don't ask me why. it's just like this and i cant explain it. none of my business? if that so, i have nothing to say but really i do hope that you will answer me honestly. I wanted to see you but each time when i thought of seeing you, i'm afraid that you will upset or down because of me. so i rather forget about it, just care for you secretly. me being negative? hope so, guys never get to understand girl's thought so am i. i have no idea what are you thinking and how do you view me as.
i care for you and i really did, asking friends how have you been recently but normally they replied me that you're fine, you're good. However, i have the thought that you're not and i don't know why again. it was suck to know that i'm worried and cared for you without any reason. or perhaps i know the reason but i don't think you wish to hear that. why am i worry or care a person which already take me as a stranger? i worry too much? i care too much? isn't really worth? i know i'm wasting my time on this but what i can tell is it's worth for me to do so.
rubbish huh? i'm talking rubbish again, isn't what you have been thinking while reading this? i honestly, sincerely telling you this, every single word above it's real. it's not a story but reality. this is what i have been doing,am i stalking you? it depends on how you view it, i cant answer that. like i said and i will say it again but it's up to you to believe it because i did something very wrong and i broke the trust so i do not expect you to trust me. HOWEVER! i really mean those words i said before, even the whole world against you, i will be there for you. you can trust these words i said. i wouldn't break this, a call or a message i will be there for you and it's only for you. ya i know what are you thinking, you rather find your sisters instead of me or other friends, why have to be me. I just want to let you know that there's someone at least you can trust and i will really be there for you no matter what.
i know we still need time, i do not expect you to forgive me and i know it is impossible too. nevertheless i will wait till the day you call me or message me again. 30 days have gone and i'm still waiting for you. To summarize for this post i just want to tell you that i really miss you~
"an apology is nothing, a dozen is still zero, a hundred you're just repeating the words, then what more is apology;
music is nothing if without feelings,story and the meaning behind it. "
and all i want you to do....listen, listen what am i trying to tell you in that song,apologize
~HPB
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